The Rest of the President’s Speech

by Proof

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The President’s speech from the Oval Office, the parts I could stay awake through, were either dishonest or designed to send the country down the road to ruin (or both).
From the lie that “we’re running out of places to drill on land” (cough, ANWR), to his pie in the sky notions that a nation that consumes “more than 20% of the world’s oil” can be converted to some mythical green energy that will take its place without relying on oil in the meantime, defies credulity.

I did stumble across an early draft of the speech with a section he eventually excised:

“That is not to say that we will not face difficulties in the transition. Since day one, holdovers from the Bush administration in the EPA have forbidden us from burning unicorn poop to power the great turbines that fuel this mighty country. Also, representatives from PETA, that existed during the last ten years, have frustrated our attempts to harness those same unicorns for mass transit.

But, we still have one form of “green energy” that is available to us. My lovely wife, Michelle has instituted her “No Child’s Fat Behind” program here in the states. She proposes to put fat children on treadmills, hooked up to generators. She assures me that fat children are a renewable resource, though we may need to end restrictions on junk food in school vending machines to do so. I am told by my friends in the NEA that this would be much simpler than say, waiving the Jones Law.

Fortunately, fat children have no radical leftist group to oppose them (once they get past Planned Parenthood) so I may proceed without fear of offending any of my ardent supporters. Further incentive will be that every treadmill will be equipped with a TV monitor that only plays “An Inconvenient Truth”. If the child does not run fast enough, we will threaten to turn it on!

This is only a stop gap measure until such time as visitors from the stars bring us the technology to cure cancer, run our cars on rainbows and to slow the rise of the oceans and begin to heal the planet. (No, wait. That’s my job!)

Until such time as the benevolent aliens arrive, I shall search diligently for someone’s @ss to kick until after the 2012 election campaign. Thank you, and may Gaia bless all 57 of the United States of America!”

Cross posted at Proof Positive

LCR UPDATED: I agree with Proof above on the content of Obama’s BP speech yesterday. Like Proof as well, I was only able to stomach parts of it. Even though he is still alive, I heard the ghost of Jimmy Carter channeled. I heard a man pleading for more bankruptcy. Surprisingly the left thought the same (at least a few in a rare hones moment on MSNBC):
Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann and Howard Fineman react to President Obama’s Oval Office Address on the oil spill. Here are the highlights of what the trio said:
Olbermann: “It was a great speech if you were on another planet for the last 57 days.”

Matthews compared Obama to Carter.

Olbermann: “Nothing specific at all was said.”

Matthews: “No direction.”

Howard Fineman: “He wasn’t specific enough.”

Olbermann: “I don’t think he aimed low, I don’t think he aimed at all. It’s startling.”

Howard Fineman: Obama should be acting like a “commander-in-chief.”

Matthews: Ludicrous that he keeps saying [Secretary of Energy] Chu has a Nobel prize. “I’ll barf if he does it one more time.”

Matthews: “A lot of meritocracy, a lot of blue ribbon talk.”

Matthews: “I don’t sense executive command.”
RCP has the video here, discussion at Memeorandum.


  1. Unicorn Tears I tell you, it is the Fuel of the Future… if we could only find the unicorns.

  2. How about giving all the fat kids and their fat parents liposuction and then burning the blubber for fuel?

  3. LOVE the empty suit.

    I could hardly stomach the speech myself. And really–to talk about cap and tax at a time like this (Never let an emergency go to waste!) We are nowhere near "clean" energy sources. So in the meantime, let's drill in ANWR, where environmental impact is minimal.

  4. Pretty harsh, yet deserved… I'd say.

  5. It's going to be a long summer.

    BP Worse Case Scenario – Deep Horizon Well May Leak Until December. Jesus Wept.

  6. "It was a great speech if you were on another planet for the last 57 days."
    D'Ohlermann said that? Who'da thunk it?

  7. Proof – No kiddin' – I wonder if you can chalk this up to simple conformity on their part?

  8. I posted my short response to the "speech" on my blog, but it really was awful, both in content and delivery. I kept laughing while I was listening, and a number of times actually said "Are you serious?" out loud. It was even more empty than an Academy Award acceptance speech.

  9. By the way, LCR, I posted a response to your question about the band in the video.

  10. Chapter Titled: Bambi's final screw up….Well, well, well… I have friends who put an Obama sticker on thier f**t car when the Great One ran for office. The bumper sticker has been there since then.
    I met my friendsfor lunch today and looked for their car to see if they had arrived early to the resturant. I DID NOT see the car b/c I was looking for the OBAMA sticker to identify it from all the other F**t Cars in the lot….well, well, well… they, my friends, not the bumber stickers, were in the restuarant waiting… apparently these (I do love them in spite of thier miss-guided political hog wash, the Progessive Freaks) have finally removed the OBAMA sticker. I'm supposed to be the conservative… so I acted accordingly and never mentioned the ripped off OBAMA sticker. I try to be nice.

    Believe me, when this couple takes off the Progressive Bumper Sticker, then all bets must be off. When OBAMA looses them, he's lost a lot more just like them.

    LOL. I'm putting a Palin sticker on my car and pulling into their drive way next week… for lunch. Maybe I'm not so nice?

  11. >so I acted accordingly and never mentioned the ripped off OBAMA sticker

    I hope you at least gave them a good, knowing grin.

  12. Sometimes, out here in California, you'll still see some old jalopy with a Mondale-Ferraro sticker on it.
    What were they thinking?

  13. >"knowing grin."

    I didn't b/c they are friends but also in-laws by marriage. Believe me, my silence has been ear deafening. The grin will be the Palin Sticker!

    Am in the process of re-reading Bastiat's THE LAW. Amazing essay and one that should be touted more often.


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