A Random Story

by the Left Coast Rebel

Sometimes, more often than I would like to admit, I lose sight, of the site here. I forget and forgo that which actually got me to start this crazy thing in the first place.

— Writing.

And sometimes, random, rudimentary, weird stuff. Apart from being a rabble-rousing, wacko libertarian-conservative, I love doing it.

Wait, back up, yah, I know, I know, I’ll simplify. I. Am. A. Writer.

Aside from a politcal-pontificator and one that is deathly afraid for the future of this great nation – I am a writer and will always be.

This post is going to be something of a way-off-the-radar sort for the readers here, a completely random subject, on a completely random topic, a figment of imagination subjugated to some bizarre end of cosmic coincidence.

Should I continue?

Earlier today I set afoot to run an errand, a fool’s errand so it may seem. Indulge me – it was nothing special – I was *attempting* to fill the household water container here at fort LCR. Our water here in So-Cal is so atrocious that it’s anything but a luxury to supply the homestead with water that is fresh and charcoal-filtered, triple ionized and such.

I kid you not, the water straight out of the ‘tap’ in San Diego tastes like it was siphoned out of a bathtub, post 4 year old necessitated bathtime, after a tough day of rough and tumble in the playground…..

So the story continues.

I ventured on in the distance (about a mile) to the fine little profit-centered object of my desire (that Obama will surely shutter just soon enough) to find the tasty, $.25 per gallon filtered H2O in a plastic-and-steel-enclosed miniature space shuttle.

However, using my well-honed urban instincts, I spotted a man (with a shopping cart, – in a galaxy far, far, away from the grocery store) providing a seemingly impenetrable offense to my water-run.

What to do?

“Sneak for it and think that he just won’t notice,” I thought. “Quietly, yes,” I considered.

However, I couldn’t have tip-toed or have been any more wrong.

As I came closer to the man, he shrieked (and gargled), “My three-feet of space!”

“Hmmph” I quickly thought, “Three feet?”

“When I was in the State Prison, we always stuck to the three-feet-of-space-rule!” he exclaimed to an inanimate object (I was a bit to the left and didn’t consider the prison angle of the deal).

I was stuck, so I stuck to a bit of a jest. I noticed something very strange, clinging to his ‘stash’ of glittering beer cans, clothing and other assorted rummaged-goodies.

Several squirrel tails — I kid you not.

“Nice squirrel tails you have there”, I remarked (my wife would have killed me for saying that but she was not there – heh).

“Yah, man, heeh-heeh-heeh!” “I cut them up for dinner and have been arrested four times for public nuisance!”

“That’s pretty impressive.”

“Woo!,” He thought so too.

Hearing this and quickly bee-lining away from the guy, he retracted the former, but not the latter or anything in between.

“I was just kidding, man, I don’t eat squirrels!,” he said to deaf, but unbelieving ears.

I continued about my business but quietly was laughing-out-loud inside. For you see, the squirrel-tail-homeless-man had reminded me of a brew chatted about with a good friend here in town, just the evening before.

Indulge me.

The beer my friend recounted is extra-special – a 55% alcohol (wince) speciality – encased around the former posterior and anterior and everything in-between of a once-live squirrel.

My encounter with Squirrel-man was impeccable. But, be it a squirrel you may be, which fate would you free-willingly choose? A demise at the hands of a deranged homeless guy? Or a taxidermist-special brew?

For me – I’m not sure…..


  1. Oh, that crazy man, I'm sending my squirrel warriors over there right now! He should be arrested as a public menace.

  2. When we finally sit down in the same city for that beer, I expect it to come from those squirrel bottles you show here!

  3. My curiosity is inundated….Do these brews really taste like beer, or more like some moonshine concocted in the hills of West Virginia or Tennessee?
    They do use the same ingredients as tradionally brewed beers and ales. I'm on the verge of splurging for the Sink The Bismark, but its pricey and I wonder if it stays fresh once opened, they say it does…


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