Fidel Castro coming out today, angrily declaring that the Obamanation misinterpreted Raul Castro’s recent remarks that made it seem that Cuba may open up democratically. Of course our media here made it look like the sheer oozing charisma and brilliance of the Obamanation was going to be a game-changer regarding Cuba. And so everyone thought that Raul Castro meant it when he promised to “discuss human rights, freedom of the press and expression, and political prisoners on the island”

Sounds good, right? No such luck – a communist state web site posted an Essay from Hollywood’s president Castro (even more than the Obamanation), in which he shot down his brother’s softened stance as of late and poured cold water on the subject.

Maybe the White House will post this essay on their website and our Leader can respond to each of the most important points –

Castro – “My brother was Affirming that the president of Cuba is ready to discuss any topic with the president of the United States expresses that he’s not afraid to broach any subject.”

Obamanation -“We will not ask anything of you more than a photo-op, and if you want to rant and rave in my presence for an hour, I will sit idly by and ‘listen’. All international opinions are relative, hear about my new doggy?”

Castro – ”Nobody should assume that he was talking about pardoning those sentenced in March 2003 and sending all of them to the United States, if the country were willing to liberate the five Cuban anti-terrorist heroes.”

Obamanation – “No problem here, I’ll see if I can put these guys in Guantanamo right before we close it, that way I can immediately release them when we close and we can talk thereafter, sound good?”

Castro – “Obama is showing signs of superficiality” (read: my american counterpart isn’t quite meeting expectations)

Obamanation – “Brother Fidel, remember, patience is key, things must happen more slowly here in the U.S., keep your eyes to the sky.”

Truth is stranger than fiction.