After the highly hypocritical remarks that Liam 'I've got a gun in my hand and I know how to use it' Neeson made about wanting more gun control in America, I decided that I really didn't need to see anything else this guy ever did. Was never even tempted to see Taken III, although the original Taken movie was fairly decent.
Well, there wasn't much on TV last night, and it wasn't going to cost me a cent, so I watched Taken III on HBO. Spoiler alert: You'll thank me. The movie stared out extremely slow, but I took heart at the credits. Famke Janssen, a babe in her own right, was in this movie. For about five minutes. A tepid little kissy face scene and a few security video flashbacks constituted her motion in this motion picture. Her big scene was laying in Neeson's bed, supposedly with her throat slit. What a waste of talent!
Neeson, as Bryan Mills, leaves warm bagels on the table, and for some reason, instead of grabbing his ACLU card, he grabs a gun and heads out to find his ex-wife's killer. An LAPD inspector played by Forest Whitaker, sits down at the crime scene and helps himself to a bagel. Because, that's apparently what you do at a crime scene!
Whitaker and Neeson reprise the roles of Tommy lee Jones and Harrison Ford in the Fugitive, although in this one, Neeson phones it in. Literally. "I didn't kill my wife". "I don't care"
After being run off the road and miraculously not dying as his car rolled down a cliff, Mills hijacks a passing motorist at gunpoint and drives to a nearby country store where the goons who pushed him off the road have stopped for snacks. Gunfight ensues. Mills kills three guys. A fourth commits suicide, but in such a way that forensics would be hard pressed not to see it as an execution.
Neeson is taken into custody, where he escapes custody by assaulting two policemen, forcing one to drive him the wrong way on an LA freeway where several hundred thousand dollars of damage occurred. Neeson then steals the police car and the officer's cell phone. When cornered, he rams the police car into an elevator shaft in a parking garage, which explodes and probably causes another half million in damages.
Mill's daughter has been given police protection, so Neeson's crew unlawfully detains the police, handcuffing them in their cars, while he takes his daughter "to safety".
Mills tracks down Russian mob boss to his penthouse hideaway. I forget whether he kills or just incapacitates the two guards at the bottom of the elevator, but he kills the three guards at the top, several other mobsters and the Russian mob boss before he is finished. Say 8 -12 bodies.
Before his last breath, the Russian mob boss fingers Mill's ex's new husband as being behind the killing. Creepy new husband meanwhile shoots and possibly kills a couple of his friends and kidnaps Mill's daughter.
So, Mills steals a car, breaks the speed limit and drives recklessly until he can get to the airport, where he illegally crashes through a gate unto federal property and crashes his stolen vehicle into a plane that is taking off.
Let's recap: Mills has committed grand theft auto multiple times. Resisted arrest, multiple times. Could be considered a suspect in a dozen and a half deaths (but NOT his ex wife's!). Illegal carry and discharge of a firearm within city limits, hijacking a car at gunpoint. Kidnapping the guy whose car he hijacked. Have I kleft anything out? Probably.
So, near the end, we have this scene with Mills and the LAPD inspector who tells him it was the warm bagels that made him think Mills was innocent (of killing his ex wife). But being a gung-ho officer of the law, he had to do his duty to bring him in even though he suspected he was innocent (of killing his ex wife). So they shake hands and Bryan Mills walks away a free man.
Are you freaking kidding me??? Even if every act he committed could be justified, he broke the freaking law more times than I could count! How does gung-ho, just the facts ma'am, I don't care if you're innocent LA cop not hold him until he could investigate all those deaths and let a judge decide if he was guilty or innocent.
If after all that, you insist on seeing this movie, try to count the number of guns Mr. 'I think there are too many guns in America' Neeson handles during the movie. Try to count how many times he breaks the law for crimes other than murdering his ex wife, for which he will not be held accountable.
Frankly, I had to suspend disbelief when Famke started making moon eyes at the old codger.But, that's just me!
Roll the credits!
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