Exotic Animals of the 2016 Campaign

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The Joe Bydena, (Cassanovae Plagiaristmus), commonly known as a "laughing' hyena, is, in reality, more of a "laughed at" hyena. Although phylogenetically closer to weasels, Joe Bydenas are behaviorally and morphologically similar to canines in several aspects; in other words, the Joe Bydena frequently acts like a dog. Both hyenas and canines are non-arboreal, cursorial hunters that catch prey from behind, sometimes massaging the shoulders of unsuspecting prey.

Hyenas groom themselves often, and are considered quite vain. They defecate in the same manner as other Carnivora, though they never stand when urinating, as urination serves no territorial function for them. Instead, hyenas mark their territories using their anal glands. In the wild, the Bydena has been known to imitate the calls of other alpha males, particularly the Welshae Coalminerimus

Hyenas are used for food and medicinal purposes in some areas, including Muslim nations under the Shafiite school, where hyenas are considered halal because of their omnivorous diet. This practice dates back to the times of the Ancient Greeks and Romans, who believed that different parts of the hyena's body were effective means to ensure love and fertility. This differs somewhat from the Joe Bydena's opinion that ALL parts of the hyena's body were effective means to ensure love and fertility!

The Joe Bydena ideally sees itself as a pack animal, even leader of a pack, if it could only find a single pack that would accept it.

Exotic Animals: Collect the whole set!
Donald Trumpetfish
Bernie Panders
Hillarymadillo
Mike Huccameleon

6 comments:

  1. I forgot that Slow Joe was running. I guess that he is, hoping to become Hillary's VP if he fails to get the Democratic nomination.

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    Replies
    1. I think he's hoping that the sleaze factor overwhelms Hillary and he'll waltz in and save the day!

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  2. Do we need both Bill Clinton and Joe Biden to wage a war on women? Isn't one enough?

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    Replies
    1. They're merely taking up the slack Teddy Kennedy left behind!

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  3. Proof, please tell me how I can unsee that picture.

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    Replies
    1. Eyebleach. Lots of eyebleach. Or, of course, you can just set it next to every other picture of Joe inappropriately touching a female and it doesn't look so bad by comparison!

      Delete

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