Loose Credits: Was the Death Star destruction an inside job?

By the Full Metal Patriot

As we get nearer to the 10-year anniversary of the terrorist attacks on September 11th, we're certain to hear a fresh batch of crazy from the lunatics who still believe (against all evidence to the contrary) that the destruction of the World Trade Center towers was “an inside job.”

Given how ludicrous that is, enjoy this parody of the 9/11 conspiracy film, Loose Change: In this satire, Loose Credits purports to “uncover the truth behind the destruction of the Death Star and help expose the lies and deceptions.”


Cross-posted at Full Metal Patriot


  1. Darth Vader did it to protect his son.

  2. Now wait just a minute! The family film footage taken by Aprahim Zap-Roota from Yavin 5 does not show ANY blue ring emanating from the Death Star when it exploded. The blue ring only appeared years later in "enhanced" footage of the original incident. The Empire claimed that the Zap-Roota film didn't have the ultraviolet capabilities to detect the blue ring, but how did the Empire just happen to have an ultraviolet camera filming the Death Star at the moment it exploded? Coincidence?

    The Death Star wasn't destroyed from explosives surrounding the Death Star's equator. If there were such explosives, don't you think one of several thousand maintenance droids would have detected them!?

    The Death Star was destroyed from the inside, all right, but by Darth Vader himself!

    Grand Moff Tarkin was clearly in charge even though Darth Vader was the Emperor's apprentice. Vader was certainly jealous of Tarkin's position of power.

    A survivor recounts Vader saying:

    "Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed."

    The same witness overheard Princess Leia insulting Vader by saying that Tarkin was "holding Vader's leash."

    Vader (supposedly the best star pilot in the galaxy) claims that he was spinning out of control, escaping the blast at the last second. He said that the Millennium Falcon destroyed a TIE fighter next to him, and that the fighter collided with his craft.

    Aside from Vader's exceptional piloting skills, don't you think that his power from the Dark Side of The Force would have enabled him to sense the Millennium Falcon, avoid the collision, or quickly regain control over his ship?

    Give me a break! Vader was knocking Tarkin out of the picture so he'd be next in line to the Emperor. And we all know how he betrayed the Emperor in the end. Vader just didn't expect to get electrocuted by The Force before throwing the Emperor into the reactor.

    And that, too, gives away Vader's plot. If the awesome power of the Emperor being channeled into the reactor core wasn't enough to make the second Death Star explode, then how could two measly proton torpedoes do the job?

    I also can't fathom how two torpedoes could find their way into that thermal exhaust port when launched at a 90 degree angle to the port's entrance. Did Skywalker violate the laws of physics?

  3. I heard one of these nutjobs going on about the inside job angle. It never occurs to these fools that a government that cannot keep anything hidden [wikileaks anyone?] can somehow keep something like 9/11 under wraps.


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