The World Ended Last Night...

By Proof

...and you're not reading this! Reports of the world coming to an end, like the earliest reports of Mark Twain's death, seem to be a bit exaggerated.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
You can always see it in the movies!

Inhabitants of New Zealand, scheduled to be among the first to meet the apocalypse according to a US fundamentalist preacher, this morning confirmed they were still in existence as the appointed time was reached in their time zone.

There were also unconfirmed reports that Tonga has, thus far, failed to boil into the Pacific.

Eighty-nine-year-old tele-evangelist Harold Camping had prophesied that the “Rapture” would begin with powerful earthquakes at 6pm in each of the world’s regions, after which the good would be beamed up to heaven.

This morning, Kiwis confirmed there were no signs of the dead rising from the grave, nor of the living ascending into the clouds to meet Jesus Christ.

Twitter users were disappointed by the absence of Armaggedon.

Upon awaking and sorting through a number of strange dreams from last night, I finally realized that I was indeed awake and the place was still here! A reason to be thankful, I thought, for the promise of a new day.

And then this morning, as I fixed my breakfast, another thing about the "prophecy" occurred to me, about some folks getting "left behind". "A fine development this is!", I thought to myself. What's the best way to prove this? Wait until tomorrow morning, go to church and look at all the empty pews? Or, go to church and look at all the full pews of folks who thought they were going to make it and didn't?

I figured the quickest way to find out the truth was to go online and see if the earthquakes had started, because if there was no "end of the world", there'd be no one "left behind"!

So, here we are. There weren't any earthquakes. The world didn't end. What are you going to do about it? Have a good laugh at those church people and then live your life exactly the same as you did before? Or maybe give some thought to what's really important in life and be thankful you still have the opportunity to pursue it?

Me? I've got to finish painting the bathroom. You know there's a lot of chores I could have put off, if I only I could have counted on that whole pesky "end of the world" thing! Later!

(Such a lovely word, "later"!)

H/T Mememorandum

Cross posted at Proof Positive


  1. Wait, Mark Twain is dead?

    Also, yesterday, I ventured into inland southern San Diego. I thought that the rapture actually did occur because it looked like a third world nation everywhere I went.

    Then I realized that that is what a lot of So-Cal looks like now.

    Off to cleaning the bathroom...

  2. Religion: Wrong about everything, always.


Commenting here is a privilege, not a right. Comments that contain cursing or insults and those failing to add to the discussion will be summarily deleted.