Obama's green job Sputnik produces tricycle riding jobs in Portland

By Sam Foster

Obama heralded energy sector unemployment green jobs and runaway deficit spending investment as the pinnacles of”America’s Sputnik Moment.” Terms like technology and innovation are thrown around in the mix with renewable energies as a marketing ploy to sound like wind, water, geothermal heat and solar power is all some sort of new technology; as if they weren't the energy generators of the dark ages.. In actuality, the green movement is something akin to the Luddites.

Here is your proof. Portland is dramatically cutting their emissions by getting paper and office supplies delivered by…wait for it…tricycles:

Under a deal signed last week with Office Depot, the company is subcontracting with a local firm called B-Line that has riders pedal giant tricycles mounted with cargo containers.

It's in those cargo containers that B-Line riders are carrying the Office Depot supplies, to nine city offices in the traffic-congested downtown area.
"It's important for the city of Portland to set an example and be a leader to other businesses in the Portland area and use sustainable business practices whenever possible," Mayor Sam Adams said in a statement.

Oh yes, there is technology for you! Have no fear manufacturing employees, when Obama shuts down your employer there will be plenty of tricycles for you to ride!


WC Varones makes a salient point in the comments. Tricycle riders is not quite carbon free since riders need to exhale. Perhaps some Obama Sputnik education initiative to teach green employees how to hold their breath?

Update x2:

Milton Wolf produces likely green job dress code, but sans tricycle!

Update x3:

WILL YOU FLAT EARTHERS CUT IT OUT IN THE COMMENTS SECTION???????Sarah B has the audacity to point out trikes could slow down traffic, causing idling, congestion and yet more CO2.

You see Sarah. This is not the tricyclers fault, but motorists fault. Clearly motorist should be banned in favor of more tricycle transportation!

Gosh, my two year old and all her friends understand it! They are out on my drive way every day.



  1. Got news for you: tricycle messengers exhale -- get this -- CARBON DIOXIDE!!!

    Global warming! These bastards are going to raise the sea levels with their tricycle deliveries!

  2. And those tricycles probably slow down traffic, causing more idling and emissions.

  3. Actually, I've seen these type of delivery 'trucks' in Europe and Asia. They work really well! Why drive a big ol'truck when you can bike it across town. Portland is pretty easy to traverse. Actually, this could be good for all Americans, then we won't be so fat and making healthcare cost so much! Win-win! I'm serious!

  4. Yes Steve, here in Germany, they deliver the mail on bicycles. Might be because they have competition in the postal delivery business. Unlike the Govt controlled postal "service" in the USA.


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