How I managed to not shoot anyone today is beyond me!

(Drop the needle at 3:04) Just imagine the flight crew as the MSM and conservatives are Adam Sandler

By Sam Foster

From the moment I wake, to my drive into work, to my very work emails, it’s difficult being a conservative and not killing people.

For example, I woke up this morning and turned on the local news, but only to hear about a statewide effort to stop texting and driving. Quote the news anchor, “Police are targeting those that text and drive.” Whoa, I think to myself. “Target?” That’s some pretty strong rhetoric. Add to that the report on how those that text and drive put other drivers at risk and I must admit, I need to muster all my self control to keep from shooting anyone I see texting and driving.

And how about my commute into work? I have to drive by Target with that giant bulls eye on the front.

I would think I’d be safe at work. But, then my CEO is talking about “killing the competition.” Perhaps he thought he was addressing only even tempered, nonviolent liberal employees. Unfortunately, I overheard him and let me say, it’s a good thing the competition is on another coast.

It’s also a good thing that Dora the Explorer is a cartoon. I was watching an episode with my young daughter last night when Dora tried to incite the audience to “Stop Swiper the Fox!” I suppose the fact that Dora and company manage to thwart that sneaky fox through nonviolence is evidence that there are no right wing characters, but I shudder to think at what conservative children are doing to the local fox populations.

Then finally on the way home, I’m listening to Rush Limbaugh. He says that conservatives need to defeat the Obama agenda. So, clearly I’m going to react violently.


  1. LOLOL. Brilliant! (Both the video and your near misses with violence). Ha. Sorry, I know it's "not funny" but you gave me some comic relief over this sad state of affairs we are watching unfold.

  2. hehehe... but somehow brilliant just falls a little short... Brilliantly accurate! I know I needed that...
    And yes, the word "Target" is no longer PC!

  3. Nice work, Sam. Link forthcoming.

  4. Brilliant! You clearly are violent and in danger of having your 1st Amendment rights revoked.

  5. Be careful, the left may take you seriously.


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