Fascist Bush Military stalks North Pole resident, Santa Clause

By Sam Foster

Just a little reminder of the type of world we live in when Republicans are in control.

Lots of military secrets are hidden behind the gleaming walls of NORAD'S headquarters building, including this one: Just how do they get Santa's flight path onto their computer screens every Christmas Eve?

Tracking Santa's travels is a celebrated tradition at the North American Aerospace Command, and it unfolds Friday for the 55th year.

Apparently, the far, right military has been profiling the North Pole's only resident for over 55 years. Now, behold the wasted taxpayer loot being wasted on clandestine operations to spy on the exploited citizen's of the world instead of paying the unfortunate to remain unfortunate.

NORAD insiders drop hints about how they do it -- "ultra-cool, high-tech, high-speed digital cameras," radar, satellites and Canadian Forces fighter jets. They happily release a flurry of facts: They answered 74,000 phone calls and 3,500 e-mails from around the world last year, all asking for Santa's location.

But any inquiry into the technological particulars is met with a polite rebuff and a cryptic explanation involving the magic of Christmas.

In truth, it's all done on a volunteer basis.

Since Jullian Assange was likely to leak all this Santa spying, Norad created twitter feeds and a phone hotline.

And into the 21st century. Santa Tracks NORAD now has a Twitter account, a Facebook page, a Youtube channel and apps for mobile phones, along with a website, noradsanta.org, and the phone line, 877-HI NORAD.

Have a Merry Christmas knowing that the government is keeping close tabs on the foreigner sneaking into your house and stealing your cookies every December the 25th.

1 comment:

  1. I'm surprised that in California, they haven't given him a driver's license yet as well as tax him out of business at the same time.


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