Caption Contest for TSA/Denver International Airport Pat-Down Photo

Image removed by request.

Image: TSA ''love-pats" passenger at Denver International Airport on Wednesday.


by the Left Coast Rebel

I'm not going to go into the meat of the Denver Post article where the above image appears, describing a defiant TSA Chief John Pistole's appearance before Congress wherein he stood by TSA's naked scanners and "pat-downs".

Therefore we interrupt the previously scheduled programming to engage in a much-needed laugh at our "better's" expense.

Caption contest, anyone? I'll start with a couple. Add your two cents!:

LCR
on the TSA offical as played by Senator Larry Craig:
"Thank God, after Congress, I never thought I would have such a satisfying job again..."
LCR on the Poor Traveler being groped:
"Uh, dude, even my wife hasn't done that in years...."
LCR on the TSA official:
Now I know why the TSA immediately hired me when I filled in the little bubble next to, "were you formally a proctologist?"
Sara in Italy opines:
"Is Kevin Jennings the new Obama appointed Safe Airport Security Czar?"
Sara in Italy taking the TSA agent role:
"Is that my hand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? "
Reader Ryan taking the role of TSA Agent:
"Turn your head and cough!"
Smitty from The Other McCain opines from a bunker in Afghanistan:
"The TSA inspector, sadly, confirms the Helen Thomas rumor."
Reader Snide Atheist (also proving this is not a left/right issue) on the TSA inspector:
"Damn, I really wish I graduated high school."
Reader Youaintgot on the TSA Inspector:
"Hmm, you don't feel like you're late for a flight!"
Reader Mike takes the James Herriot role for the TSA agent (gross):
"My vet training with horse-birthing techniques may come in handy if this goes from second to third base..."
Reader Phil takes the Pee Wee Herman approach with the TSA agent:
"I used to do this at the adult movie theaters."
Justin offers a fitting TSA public service announcement:
"To reaffirm our commitment to customer service, all TSA security checks now include a complimentary "happy ending.""
Conservative Generation thinks of a back and forth:
Guard: "Let me zip that up for you. There."
Passenger: "I don't mind you cupping my crotch, but do you need to hum as well?"
D.Eris from PolitTea channels the Toe-tapper as well:
"What was once only available in private airport bathroom stalls now available at public screening areas."
Alan as the TSA Agent (or, possibly, the traveler):
"I just want you to know I think it's OK if we still see other people. Call me, though."
Leslie Eastman, Temple of Mut:
"This is taking Obama's Stimulus Package to a whole new dimension!"
SharonLJ:
"Funny ... I wouldv'e taken you for a "dress-left" kinda guy."
Lilac Sunday:
"To encourage public acceptance of X-ray porno scanner, hire Lorena Bobbitt to perform pat-downs."
Will:
"This is just a little prick that might sting a bit, but just between you and me, it's better than creating cancerous cells."
Nick Rowe:
"Here, let me fix that for you. You're hanging a little low on the left."
Proof Positive:
"You called your doctor after four hours of that??"
Shane Atwell:
"Mmmm mmmmmhmm mmmmmm oooooo mmmmmmm aaaaaayeeaaah. Ok you can go."
Barrel Rider:
"Thats not what I envisioned when they said each flight has a happy ending"
Paul Mitchell:
"After Hank won the Ottumwa County 4H Speed Milking Contest three years in a row, he knew he was destined for greatness."
John:
"Um, no, that's not a stick of dynamite!"
Dan:
"Sir, trust me you're pregnant... One leg is already out!!!"

Nick Cabejim:
This isn't the job I envisioned when I was hired as a "Baggage Handler"

29 comments:

  1. Is Kevin Jennings the new Obama appointed Safe Airport Security Czar?


    (http://biggovernment.com/jhoft/2009/12/08/fistgate-ii-high-school-students-given-fisting-kits-at-kevin-jennings-2001-glsen-conference/)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry folks... maybe I'm a bit of a radical, but if that were me standing there in the picture, the guy attempting to grab my "junk" would soon feel my hand up-side his head!
    Aint no way someone is gonna do that!

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  3. The TSA inspector, sadly, confirms the Helen Thomas rumor.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Damn, I really wish I graduated high school."

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm with John on this one; who just stands there?

    ReplyDelete
  6. TSA:
    You don't feel like you're late for a flight!

    ReplyDelete
  7. is that my hand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

    ReplyDelete
  8. "I used to do this at the adult movie theaters"

    ReplyDelete
  9. To reaffirm our commitment to customer service, all TSA security checks now include a complimentary "happy ending."

    ReplyDelete
  10. Guard: "Let me zip that up for you. There"

    Passenger: "I don't mind you cupping my crotch, but do you need to hum as well?"

    ReplyDelete
  11. "What was once only available in private airport bathroom stalls now available at public screening areas."

    ReplyDelete
  12. I just want you to know I think it's OK if we still see other people. Call me, though.

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is taking Obama's Stimulus Package to a whole new dimension!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Funny ... I wouldv'e taken you for a "dress-left" kinda guy.

    ReplyDelete
  15. To encourage public acceptance of X-ray porno scanner, hire Lorena Bobbitt to perform pat-downs.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is just a little prick that might sting a bit, but just between you and me, it's better than creating cancerous cells.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Here, let me fix that for you. You're hanging a little low on the left.

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  18. You called your doctor after four hours of that??

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  19. Mmmm mmmmmhmm mmmmmm oooooo mmmmmmm aaaaaayeeaaah. Ok you can go.

    ReplyDelete
  20. "Thats not what I envisioned when they said each flight has a happy ending"

    Can I request a female? I'm a bit homophobic...

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  21. After Hank won the Ottumwa County 4H Speed Milking Contest three years in a row, he knew he was destined for greatness.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Um, no, that's not a stick of dynamite!

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  23. OK, lemme just move that around...now you're ready for your mustache ride!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Lookin' for love in all the wrong places. . .

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  25. "Sir, trust me you're pregnant... One leg is already out!!!"

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  26. This isn't the job I envisioned when I was hired as a "Baggage Handler"

    ReplyDelete
  27. Good to see you again Senator Craig!

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  28. No weapons but I think I found a colon polyp.

    ReplyDelete

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