White Latex Paint Vs. Taser - Crook* Loses

By Proof

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Red, white and blue latex - Not our crook!


I saw this in today's local dead tree paper. In the stupid crook department, a man from Cheyenne Wyoming covered himself with white latex paint in hopes of avoiding a police Taser. Police stunned him anyway!

September 16th, the Cheyenne police were called to Brian Mattert's house because of domestic violence. When police arrived, according to the Wyoming Tribune Eagle, this genius Mattert thought he'd be Tased, so he covered himself in white paint and told the police that if they shot him, he'd die.

The Taser performed as advertised...twice! And what Wyatt Earp over at Support You Local Gunfighter calls "God's Joy Buzzer" got the job done. Other than getting white latex paint on the officers, there were no serious ramifications, other than this moron spending time in the Graybar Hotel covered in paint!

Don't tase me, bro, indeed!


Update: From the Wyoming Tribune Eagle:
According to the police report, Mattert, 34, became defiant and uncooperative.

The officers continued to demand his surrender and explained that the paint would not affect a Taser's capability nor would it cause his death if used.

After some time, the officers were able to get Mattert into his back yard. He tried to pull away and was subsequently shocked with a Taser.

As he lay in a fetal position on the grass, Mattert refused to give up his hand so he could be placed in cuffs. So he was shocked again, and the officers were able to detain him.


*Closed Captioning for the Humor Impaired: Technically he's a perp, not a crook.

Cross posted at Proof Positive

4 comments:

  1. Nothin' say lovin' like latex from the oven!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wonder if Obama would say "the cops acted stupidly"? Oh wait, the perp was white...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Whiter than most after the dousing! Heh.

    ReplyDelete

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