Happy Buy Day!

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Today's the day! First chance this week to get out of the house and buy some Doritos! I have several stops to make and I'm going to buy large quantities of Doritos at every one of them. I expect to be typing with orange, nacho flavored fingers sometime between now and dinner time. 

Operator: 9-1-1, what is your emergency? 
Me: Yes, a madman has broken in and filled my kitchen with bags of Doritos! 
Operator: I'm sorry sir, what is your emergency? 
Me: There's still room in the den!


Feminists are Progressively More Deranged

Remember the movie "Look Who's Talking"? It was centered around a baby in the womb which not only grabbed for Doritos, but spoke English! I don't remember feminists having a cow when that came out in 1989. Feminists have become progressively (pun intended) more deranged since then. 


Buy Doritos, Annoy a Feminist

Feminists could not see the humor in a Doritos lover in utero.

I had not planned on buying any Doritos this week, but if it irritates feminists that much, how can I resist?


Trumpnac the Mansplainient

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...with apologies to Johnny Carson.