Exotic Animals of the 2016 Campaign

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The Bernie Panders (Socialismus fulgens), also called "Red" or lesser panda, not to be confused with the lesser pander, which is associated with the Clinton Foundation. The Bernie Panders is a small arboreal mammal native to Vermont.

The specific epithet fulgens is Latin for "shining", which may refer to the path taken by the reds. Panda is the French name for the Roman goddess of peace and travelers, whereas the Pander is more amenable to fellow travelers. The species is generally quiet except for some twittering, tweeting, and Facebook communication. It has been reported to be both nocturnal and crepuscular.

 Results of phylogenetic research and party affiliation indicate strong support for its taxonomic classification in its own family Progressivae, along with the weasel, raccoon and skunk families. Primarily the former and the latter.

The Bernie Panders is considered a living fossil and only distantly related to the giant pander (Stainedbluedressicus embarrasae).

Exotic Animals of the 2016 Campaign

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Hillarymadillos Showmethecashimus Serverblankimus, are New World Order placental mammals with a leathery armor shell. Because of this, Hillarymadillos prefer to be photographed only in soft focus. This armor-like skin ,although thin, appears to be the main defense of the Hillarymadillo, though some escape predatory reporters by fleeing, often into vans and prearranged photo ops, from which their armor protects them. When startled by honest questions, the species frequently roll up into a ball.

Hillarymadillos have been spotted in Illinois, as far south as Arkansas and primarily can be found in New York state. The Hillarymadillo has very poor eyesight and are prolific diggers. Many species use their sharp claws to grub for money, preferably gold and cash. Bearer bonds, Russian caviar and large speaking fees have been known to lure the species from its lair.

 Hillarymadillos are solitary animals that do not share.

Halperin® - Non-Narcotic Sleep Aid

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Mark Halperin conducted a shamefully racist interview with Ted Cruz, asking questions no self respecting reporter would ever ask of a candidate's ethnicity. Think Progress, which is a little to the left of Marx, Engels and Alinsky, offered this headline:
The Prize For The Most Racist Interview Of A 2016 Candidate Goes To Bloomberg’s Mark Halperin 
 Personally, his name sounds like it could be a substitute for Sominex. Listening to his interviews may have the same effect. No one knows. No one has actually been able to sit through an entire one.